I need some help editing my short story, I don't want to completely paraphrase/change. I mostly need help on the introduction

A fortune cookie is a delicious sugary treat! It's usually eaten after the meal in an Asian restaurant and always paired with a positive message that gives the eater hope and happiness," explained Julie to her best friend, Sam, as they walked into Julie's favorite restaurant, The Cookie Box.

The Cookie Box was a family-owned restaurant with excellent food and even better fortune cookies than other restaurants in town. Julie had not been back since her birthday last August because she had a small argument with one of the servers. She was too embarrassed to return.

Sam and Julie took a seat and ordered their food. Once their food arrived, they immediately started to dig in. When they finished, Julie grabbed two fortune cookies. She handed one to Sam, then eagerly ripped hers open. It read, "Watch your back!"

"This has to be a prank," thought Julie. She looked around the busy restaurant, suspecting the culprit was in the room. Suddenly, in the corner of her eye, she saw something, or rather someone. It was Veronica, the same server from her birthday last August. The server that Julie was ashamed to admit, Julie was more than a little rude to her.

On the day of Julie's birthday, nothing seemed to be going her way. Three of her guests canceled on her, the new dress she had ordered had not arrived, and the only thing she thought couldn't go wrong went wrong. She was not able to keep her reservation at The Cookie Box. The waitress who attempted to resolve Julie's reservation issue appeared exhausted and was acting carelessly, so Julie reported her to the owner and left.

And now here she was again, staring loathingly toward her. Julie didn't think it was a coincidence that she got a warning fortune cookie the same day she saw that server.

"She did it," said Julie quietly.

"Huh, who did what?" Asked Sam.

"Oh! Nothing, sorry," replied Julie.

Julie had forgotten Sam was there and decided to apologize and tell him something suddenly came up, and it would be best if he left.

When Sam left, Julie decided to leave as well, she was halfway to her car when suddenly she heard someone calling out to her. It was Veronica. She was chasing after Julie. "You ruined my promotion!" yelled veronica with an angry tone. I felt horrible when I heard her say that. I didn't think that my bad day could ruin somebody's life.

I was so ashamed.

"I am so sorry," I muttered

Veronica scoffed and walked off. Julie didn't bother to stop her because there was no way Veronica would ever forgive her.

Answers

Answer 1

To edit your story, you may have Julie sound less formal at the introduction, watch out for punctuation and capitalization as well as point of view.

How to edit the story

After reading the story provided, we can point out the following topics as suggestions on how to edit and improve it:

The story is fun and interesting. The introduction does not require editing other than perhaps having Julie sound less formal.Watch out for punctuation and capitalization. For example, in "... Julie decided to leave as well, she was halfway to her car when suddenly she heard someone calling out to her," you should either place a period or a semicolon where the comma is.Be careful not to change the point of view halfway through. The story is told from a third-person perspective but, all of a sudden, it changes to the first person in "I felt horrible when I heard her say that. I didn't think that my bad day could ruin somebody's life." This is not advisable. You may change it back to the third person or edit it in way that those sentences are actually Julie's thoughts.

Overall, the story does not require much editing. It is creative and well-written.

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Related Questions

Read this excerpt from "A Visit from the Goon Squad."

At last he found Rebecca, smiling, holding Cara-Ann in her arms. She was dancing. They were too far away for Alex to reach them, and the distance felt irrevocable, a chasm that would keep him from ever again touching the delicate silk of Rebecca’s eyelids, or feeling, through his daughter’s ribs, the scramble of her heartbeat. Without the zoom, he couldn’t even see them. In desperation, he T’d Rebecca, pls wAt 4 me, my bUtiful wyf, then kept his zoom trained on her face until he saw her register the vibration, pause in her dancing, and reach for it.

Which of these is the best question to address the societal issue raised in this excerpt?
Does technology help or hinder meaningful communication?
Should proper spelling and grammar be required to send texts?
Is it dangerous to text while engaged in other activities?
How will technology affect the music industry of the future?

Answers

The statement that best addresses the societal issue raised in the following given excerpt is "Does technology help or hinder meaningful communication?". Therefore A is the correct response.

What is "A Visit from the Goon Squad"?

A Visit from the Goon Squad is a work of fiction by the writer Jennifer Egan, which also won the Pulitzer prize for fiction in the year 2011, A Visit from the Goon Squad is a set of thirteen interrelated stories that are directed toward the Bennie Salazar.

The book mostly centers on the self-destructive characters of different ages who are later in life, sent to behold some unprecedented ordeals of life.

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A tutor is able to help a student organize their ____________ to make the most of their learning materials.

Answers

Homework or school work

solve pls brainliest

Answers

Answer:

subject noun

Explanation

A student is a noun functioning as subject

write a paragraph about the tone of the poem the constable by Seamus heaney

Answers

This poem has a solemn tone and a matter-of-fact approach to a father's remembrance of cultivating the land. As the child observes the guy, Seamus Heaney perhaps learns from him, there is a sense of respect and dignity. Humility is also evident.

This poem by Seamus Heaney explores the tense relationship that existed between Northern Ireland Catholics and an armed police force prior to the Troubles. The bicycle's 'ticked, ticked ticked' in the final line symbolizes an impending explosion, the eruption of violence from these tense relationships. The themes of "A Constable Calls" include "Arithmetic terror," violence, distrust, impotence, fear of authority.

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1. Jane and David have been on a raft for weeks.

Answers

Jane and David have been on the raft for a few weeks now. Lost at sea, David and Jane struggle to survive. Students read this exciting triumph story and identify concrete and abstract nouns in 15 sentences.

The RAFT (role, audience, form, subject) writing strategy developed by Santa, Havens, and Valdez [1] develops the reader's sense and writing purpose while helping students understand their role as writers and articulate their ideas clearly. help you do it.

A raft is a flat structure for support or transportation through the water. In general, this is the basic design, characterized by the absence of a body. The RAFT technique of defining roles, audiences, formats, and tasks can be used as an interactive and collaborative learning method. RAFT is a system that enables students to understand their role as writers, their audience, the form of their work, and what is expected.

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Select and adjective that shows how Wordsworth initially felt as he rowed out in the stolen boat.

Answers

An adjective that shows how Wordsworth initially felt as he rowed out in the stolen boat is this:

Guilty

How did Wordsworth feel as he rowed out his boat?

In the text, we can see that Wordsworth initially felt troubled as he rowed out in the stolen boat. He aptly described this as "troubled pleasure." So, while he was excited about the prospect of rowing out the boat, he also felt a tinge of guilt.

The poem describes a young Wordsworth who was now ready to explore the word. At first, he believed that he possessed the skills but he came to discover the opposite later.

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human beings can hear sound frequencies ranging from 20Hz to 20,000Hz. However, the upper limit generally decreases with age. Other animals can perceive vibrations higher than 20,000 Hz. For example, a dog’s frequency range extends higher than 20,000 Hz.
Which among the following cannot be concluded from the above paragraph?
A. Hearing ability differs among the animal kingdom
B. Many animals can hear more sounds than a human does
C. Hearing ability is not the same during one’s lifetime
D. Animals can hear things that humans can’t hear

Answers

Answer

C. Hearing ability is not the same during one’s lifetime

I need help with these!!!!!!!!!!

Answers

I think its C. Then a wagon passed at the  trot of a nag, shaking strangely, two men seated side by side...

REFLECT AND RESPOND TO THE FOLLOWING QUOTE FROM CH 1 OF THE GLASS CASTLE.
Is it simple as Jeanette's Mom believes to tell the truth? In what situations would it be
difficult? Do you ever have trouble telling the truth...to friends, parents, Yourself? Explain.
Also, what would you do if you were in Jeanette's sit
uation? Would you tell people?
"Just tell the truthy" Mom said. "That's simple enough."

Answers

Yes, Is it simple as Jeanette's Mom do believes that one need to always tell the truth. The situations would it be that it would be difficult is when Jeanette's  tells her dad to stop drinking ones and for all.

Do you ever have trouble telling the truth?

Yes, telling the truth to me is not an easy thing at first but when I started doing it, it becomes very simple to do.

Consistent practice makes one never to be able to tell lies again. I have gotten into trouble telling the truth to my friend as they  resented me for it but when i told the truth to my family, from then on their level of trust on me increases.

The thing that i would do if I am in Jeanette's situation is that i will find a strategic way to break the truth to them that will not  hurt them or bring punishment to me.

Therefore, my response is Yes, Is it simple as Jeanette's Mom do believes that one need to always tell the truth. The situations would it be that it would be difficult is when Jeanette's  tells her dad to stop drinking ones and for all.

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In a well-developed paragraph of at least 5 sentences, explain the differing perspectives of Irene and Nursie and how the author develops these perspectives in this
passage. Use evidence from the text to support your response.

Answers

The differing perspectives of Irene and Nursie and how the author develops these perspectives in this passage is based on context clues.

What is context clues?

Context clues  can be described as the hints that is been found within a sentence as well as the  paragraph,  which is been used by the  reader so that they  can be able to have the  understanding of  the meanings of new or unfamiliar words.

In this case, it should be noted that differing perspectives of Irene and Nursie and how the author develops these perspectives in this passage is based on context clues.

In conclusion, Context clues  could be seen in a paragraph which can be in form antonyms, comparisons  that make use of literary devices such as  metaphors and similes, also this clues can be inform of  contrasts, instance of this are the words that can be used by the reader so they can be familiar with  unfamiliar words.

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Which of the following is not
an aphorism?
A. The sun illuminates only the eye of the
man, but shines into the eye and the heart
of the child. N-4
B. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity
of your own mind. SR-5
C. Every decent and well-spoken individual
affects and sways me more than is right. SR-
7

Answers

Answer: The answer is C

Explanation:every decent and well spoken individual affect and sways me than is right

What does "Among the animals its eat or be eaten, among the humans its define or be defined" mean ?

Answers

I think this has many interpretations. What I take from it though is that, basically, animals eat eachother per their instinct. However, humans can do what they want, or be forced to do something and be praised for or looked down upon what it is they do, whether they chose to or were forced to do it.

What is anchoring?
A. Staying on task in class. C. going back to the last page you were on B. reading out loud to the teacher D. saying while touching

Answers

The connotative meaning of the word "anchoring" is A. Staying on a task in class

What is Anchoring?

This refers to the steadfastness that is used to keep a thing in place and it is used connotatively.

Hence, we can see that the connotative meaning of the word "anchoring" is A. Staying on the task in class

This is because the connotative meaning is that students stay on a task in a class.

Thus, by staying in a place, this is used connotatively to show how students should stay on a task until its completed.

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Please help if you have read Hatchet by Gary Paulsen and are confident to answer these questions for a major grade!

For my essay we have to pick a trait that Brian was in the beginning of the book and what he changed to at the end of the book and I picked dependent to independent. Here are my questions:


1. Can somebody please give me 2 integrated quotes that show Brian was dependent through his words and one for through his actions


2. Can somebody please give me 2 integrated quotes that show Brian was independent, one to show through his words and one for through his actions


Thank you!! No links or files and only answer those questions if you are confident and know what page the quotes are from in Hatchet. THANK YOU!!

Answers

Answer:

Patience, he thought. So much of this was patience - waiting, and thinking and doing things right. So much of all this, so much of all living was patience and thinking

He did not know how long it took, but later he looked back on this time of crying in the corner of the dark cave and thought of it as when he learned the most important rule of survival, which was that feeling sorry for yourself didn't work. It wasn't just that it was wrong to do, or that it was considered incorrect. It was more than that--it didn't work.”

“The memory was like a knife cutting into him. Slicing deep into him with hate. The Secret.” “Brian he once had an English teacher, a guy named Perpich, who was always talking about being positive, thinking positive, staying on top of things.”

“He could not play the game without hope; could not play the game without a dream. They had taken it all away from him now, they had turned away from him and there was nothing for him now.

Explanation:

In what way do housing decisions meet people's psychological needs
options:

A By providing people with a sense of safety and security

B By helping them to meet like minded people

C By making people make rational decisions

D By helping them to gain social status

Answers

The way in which a housing decisions meet people's psychological needs is by providing people with a sense of safety and security.

What is a psychological needs?

A psychological needs refers to any need that are essential to the mental health which is not a biological necessity. These needs may be generated internally or may be generated by interactions between the individual and the environment such as in the need for social approval, justice, or job satisfaction.

In most case, the way in which a housing decisions meet people's psychological needs is by providing people with a sense of safety and security. Therefore, the Option A is correct.

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why would meg from a wrinkle in time be a good friend

Answers

Answer:because she's nice and she tries to do the right thing

Explanation:

What details helped you answer question explain

Answers

Facts or evidence help any sentence or paragraph and sentence structure is also equally important

Analyze a character. How do his/her words and actions influence the thoughts and/or actions of another character.

Story: Seventh Grade by Gary Soto

Answers

The character I will analyse in Seventh Grade by Gary Soto is Teresa, she was a girl that the Victor always crush on because of her smartness.

What is a character?

A character can be described as the  person, animal, that is been used in the story by the Writers so that they can perform the  actions and speak dialogue to make the story interesting, every story has different character.

It should be noted that in this story, Victor was able to perceive  Teresa as a cute girl who was smart and intelligent which make Victor to be attracted to her , since Theresa was not only smart but also cute and adorable, infact most of her peers always see her as someone that was made differently because she was so good at math, even though she is a girl.

In conclusion, The character I will analyse in Seventh Grade by Gary Soto is Teresa, she was a girl that the Victor always crush on because of her smartness.

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Refer to the "Administering a Rabies Vaccine to a Kitten/Cat" graphic to answer the following question. Click the directions button to open the graphic. In step 2 of the writing process, a writer of a procedure is instructed to divide ideas into an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. Examine the procedure. What would be the most likely division of ideas? How? What? Who? Introduction: Dispensing post-vaccination instructions; Body: Locating vaccine and syringe with hypodermic needle, filling the syringe with vaccine, and giving the rabies shot; and Conclusion: Determining prior vaccination history. Introduction: Determining prior vaccination history; Body: Locating vaccine and syringe with hypodermic needle, filling the syringe with vaccine, and giving the rabies shot; and Conclusion: Dispensing post-vaccination instructions. Introduction: Dispensing post-vaccination instructions and locating vaccine and syringe with hypodermic needle; Body: Filling the syringe with vaccine; and Conclusion: Giving the rabies shot and determining prior vaccination history.

Answers

Based on the above the option that would be the most likely division of ideas is option B: Introduction: Determining prior vaccination history; Body: Locating vaccine and syringe with hypodermic needle, filling the syringe with vaccine, and giving the rabies shot; and Conclusion: Dispensing post-vaccination instructions.

What are rabies caused by?

Rabies is known to be a kind of a virus-based illness that is lethal but curable. If they are bitten or scratched by any given rabid animal, it is one that can spread to people and animals.

Therefore, Based on the above the option that would be the most likely division of ideas is option B: Introduction: Determining prior vaccination history; Body: Locating vaccine and syringe with hypodermic needle, filling the syringe with vaccine, and giving the rabies shot; and Conclusion: Dispensing post-vaccination instructions.

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ANSWER PLEASE NEED HELP

Answers

Answer: i got u

Explanation:

Wow!             Did                 you            see     that          shooting   star    

interjection  conjunction   pronoun    verb   pronoun   verb         noun

that                quickly      dashed   across            the                 sky?

conjunction   adverb      verb        preposition   conjunction  noun

D Complete the sentences with the simple past or past continuous form of the verb in parentheses.
4. My siblings were playing baseball while I (relax)​

Answers

My siblings were playing baseball while I (relax)​. The correct form of verb to use to complete the given sentence is the past continuous. So the revised sentence after using the past continuous form of verb is -

My siblings were playing baseball while I was relaxing.

What is past continuous.?

"The past continuous or the past progressive tense is used to tell about some action happening at some time in the past.  The time of happening of the action or event may or may not be specified." The action started before that moment but has not finished at that moment.

For examples- She was singing.

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solve pls brainliest

Answers

with nouns being a person, place, or thing your answer could be runners and drivers or laps and cars but being the direct object I would think it would mean CARS and LAPS because that's what they are doing/using

Analyze
4. Identify two universal themes conveyed by the description
of the battle between Beowulf and Grendel. Explain how the
themes interact and build on each other.
BIU
The two universal themes are: "Battle of good vs evil " and
"What makes a hero".
E Tr A
Q
Explain how the themes interact with each other

Answers

The two key themes that are immediately apparent in the story of Beowulf and his battle with Grendel are:

The Battle between good and evilCourage.

How do the above themes interact with one another?

The interactions of the two themes can hardly be divorced form one another. Note that before he was taken down by Beowulf, Grendel has killed thirty-men. He clawed them and killed them and carted them away to his abode.

Hence, at this time, the dynamics of evil had been established. Then enters the courageous Beowulf. At this time, Beowulf is the protagonist. The epitome of good while Grendel is the flag bearer of evil.

It took courage for Beowulf to have taken on the task of defeating a being that descended from Cain and had taken down 30 men already. Hence, the interplay between both themes.

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HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! MY MOM WILL OBLITERATE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Which sentence illustrates a problem and solution interaction?(1 point)



When my cousins come to visit, we put an extra leaf in the table to make it bigger.


Because the island is so far from the mainland, the people have to wait for needed supplies.


Compared to 2020, the 2015 school year was virtually problem-free.


Because of severe drought in the area, this year’s harvest has been dramatically lower than normal.

Answers

Answer:

When my cousins come to visit, we put an extra leaf in the table to make it bigger.

Explanation:

The cousins bring a problem, not enough space for everyone at the table, by adding a leaf to the table, creates more space for everyone, solving the problem. :)

What does composed mean
calm
created
relaxed
What does central mean?

Answers

Composed means creat

What do you like about the sunsets at the beach? Be specific and determine 3 things you like about it.

Answers

Answer: Sunsets and large bodies of water naturally compliment one another on ever changing multiple levels.

Visually, you get amazing reflections on the water that vary from wavy to choppy to mirror smooth. As enhancements, there are the wonderful smells and the sounds of birds accompanied by the lapping (or crashing) waves. As a bonus, there’s the wonderful sensations of sand between your toes.

At the top of my list of priorities is to always live within blocks of a large body of water with either a due west view (for the best sunsets) or due East for sunrises.

Explanation: Hope this helps :)

Add or remove commas, if necessary, until the sentence has correct punctuation.

I saw Imelda cheering stomping and singing during the volleyball game.

Answers

I saw Imelda cheering, stomping, and singing during the volleyball game.

One result of the Germanic
Invasions of the middle of the
5th century was

A. an outpouring of literature.
B. the beginning of Christianity.
C. the beginning of English.

Answers

Answer:

A. an outpouring of literature.

Explanation:

4. Choose the sentence that best adds descriptive detail to the following
passage (paragraph 8):
"On her way to becoming a world champion, Biles faced tough decisions.
In eighth grade, she was training 20 hours a week, far less than other elite
gymnasts. If she wanted to be an Olympian, she would have to commit
more time to training. For Biles, that meant shifting to homeschooling and
taking on more practices. Traveling to competitions would be all business.
A Texas Monthly story about Biles noted that when they travel "gymnasts
are sequestered-they stay in a different hotel from the one in which their
families stay-to reduce distractions. If they're allowed out at all, it's for
carefully supervised visits to a tourist site or megamall." Still, Biles decided
to make the switch. Afterwards, as she told Buzzfeed, "My hours ramped
up and we did beam and bars twice a day, which usually I had only done
once a day."
* 5 points

Answers

The sentence that best adds descriptive detail to the following passage is For Biles, which meant shifting to homeschooling and taking on more practices.

Descriptive details enable sensory recreations of experiences, things, or ideas. In other words, description facilitates a more sensory or concrete understanding of a subject, allowing the reader to mentally enter a scenario.

Concise details can help you sharpen your focus while original description provides writing a sense of honesty and plausibility. A reader is more likely to feel, hear taste, and feel strongly connected to the imagined scenes and experiences thanks to descriptive details. Three main types of descriptive writing are as follows: Creating a persona. I'm writing about this thing. Creating a location essay.

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Read this excerpt from "The Tell-Tale Heart" by Edgar Allan Poe.

True! nervous—very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses—not destroyed—not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How, then, am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily—how calmly I can tell you the whole story.

How does the situational irony of this excerpt affect "The Tell-Tale Heart"?

> The narrator's mention of his calm and health only serve to highlight the serious injuries he's suffered.

>The narrator's focus on his strong sense of hearing only serves to remind readers that he will not listen to the truth.

>The narrator's firm insistence that he is innocent of the old man's murder only serves to convince readers that he is guilty.

>The narrator's frantic insistence that he is sane only helps to convince readers that he is not.

Answers

Option D frantic insistence that he is sane only helps to convince readers that he is not is the situational irony of this excerpt affect "The Tell-Tale Heart".

Why is the narrator not sane in "The Tell-Tale Heart" ?

The state of mind of the Narrator in “The Tell-Tale Heart” is insane he struggles to reassure that there is nothing wrong with him and that he is completely normal.  The narrator is range over the concepts of madness, guilt, and a distorted perception of reality.

The narrator is insane and his motive behind killing the old man is that he cannot stand the sight of the old man's “vulture eye”. He wanted to close the eye forever, and so he does this by murdering the old man.

The situational irony in the excerpt is that the narrator's frantic insistence that he is sane only helps to convince readers that he is not.

Hence, option D is an appropriate response.

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Other Questions
What is the simplified form of each expression?c. 3/ . 12/ The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) will pay Lockheed Martin Corp. $11.4 billion for Orion's development, test flights, and its first manned mission in 2021. NASA is a government unit operating in __________ market. karen tiene 60100 soles ,compro 23 cocinas,28 televisores y 15 refrigeradoras.cuantos nuevos soles le quedan a un. The first test of the Cold War was which event? A. the Warsaw Pact B. The Berlin Air lift C. the creation of NATO. D. the creation of the United Nations A.) hall of bulls B.) crossed bisonC.) chauvet caves d.) Altamira cave E.) willendorf cave Find 65% of 300 kilometers. Rebecca collected data and told you that her sample mean was 56 and her sample median was 64. She then draws a histogram based on her data and asks you to guess the shape of it without looking. What would the most likely shape be for her histogram?. What is the best summary of the passage? A. The main character wants to travel in a spaceship. Once inside, he is nervous and the spaceship begins to shake. B. The main character floats through a cabin. He looks around for other crew members in the ship. C. The main character travels to space in a spaceship. Once there, he is weightless and floats through the ship. D. The main character wants to perform tests. He looks for the equipment for the tests and realizes it is locked away. Find the ratio created when BA is partitioned by C.Write your answer as a ratio with a colon and no spaces. Example 10:3 Polar latitudes have a solar radiation deficit. PLS HELPPP WILL GIVE BRAINLIEST!!!what is the theme of the passage bliss? one of the most tragic themes in night is eliezer's discovery of the way that atrocities and cruel treatment can make decent people into brutes. argue whether or not this happens to elie himself. does he remain a good person, or do his experiences corrupt him? write an argument to support your claim with clear reasons and relevant textual evidence, including direct quotations with clear citations Read the following sentences or questions and fill in the blanks with the correct form ofcanto or mucho.1. carteles hay en el cuarto? (cunto)2. revistas hay? (cunto)3. gomas de borrar hay en el escritorio? (cunto)4. lpices necesitas? (cunts)5. ventanas hay en tu cuarto? (cunto) What scales are equal to 3 cm to 15 m One side effect of reforming city government to minimize corruption and encourage efficiency was:_________ can yall please help me figure out what this problem is g=6x, for x if a piece of rock has a volume of 0.73 l and a mass of 1524 g what is the density how are chemical and physical properties of amino acids different?The R groups of the amino acid are different.Some amino acids do not have a central carbon atom.Some amino acids have a carbonyl group.Some amino acids do not have an amino group.* ANSWER FAST* I need help with this question please Pls help fast thank you